What do you look for in a guy or a girl? The most I've recently heard from guys is that they look for a girl with luscious locks. I also know a few popular things that either gender look for in the other, for example; their personality, how adventurous they are, their good looks, a good or bad attitude on different things, or their spirituality. Some girls are picky and like guys that are taller than them. Some guys are picky and like girls that have long hair. We each have our special perks of what makes us who we are. But because we don't have those "perfect traits" others are looking for, doesn't mean we should change who we are. You are perfect just the way you are, and someone is looking for a personality just like yours.
Going back a few years, more like thirty or so years, you look at those who dated. Those in high school, and those in college. Ask your parents or grandparents how they dated when they were in school. It isn't the same as it is today. My dad would tell me of stories of what him and his dates would do, a lot weren't very expensive because he was a typical college student. But he still had time to date girls, not exclusively, but to get to know more people. He would tell me of stories pranking girls' apartments and how much fun they would have. Do we see that today?
I know for a fact that in my past, guys wouldn't ask girls out on dates because hanging out together was enough. They would count that as dates. That is ridiculous! Dating has a different meaning than hanging out does. For dating, there's three P's. Planned, paid for, and paired off. Hanging out, seriously, there's none of that. I see hanging out as an excuse to not ask the opposite gender out. Whether they are too scared or nervous, they don't want to be rejected, they don't want to pay for the other, or be responsible for the activity because nothing sounds fun or good enough to do.
I'm going to jump from dating people to get to know other, to dating someone exclusively. In my class, we talked about the RAM, Relationship Attachment Model. Let me try to explain it and hopefully you'll be able to understand what I'm saying. When we meet someone, we get to know them first. After we get to know them our trust for them builds. The more we can trust them the more we can rely on them. When we rely on someone, we commit ourselves to that person. After we have taken that step of commitment, then comes the touching. If you move these things around in a relationship, then the relationship most likely, will not last. I have no idea if that made sense or not, if it did, props to me! If not, please let me know and I will explain it to you better. But do you understand the importance of how a relationship should go?
I'm going to hit back on the dating a little bit and I'm not picking on just the men. But I will tell you what I have learned from teachers, friends, and roommates within the past few months. And this may not apply to everyone but remember this is a good fraction of people.
Men like women who are confident in themselves, therefore, some men wait for the women to start up a conversation, otherwise, they don't think she is "good enough" for him.
Women like men who are confident with themselves as well. Many women wait for the guy to start a conversation, or to pull the moves. If women do it, does that show that we are too pushy, or needy?
Men and women do not understand each other. That's because women overthink things, men don't think much, nor do they care about things as much as women do. I'm not sure if that's true, I'm not a guy so I don't know. That's just what I've heard in past studies.
If things continue like this, the other waiting for the other to ask, nothing is going to happen. So, I'm going to ask those who are single, myself included, to find a date this week. You ask them out. Don't wait for them, but go out, go on an adventure and find a friend or the person you've been staring at in class for the last few weeks. Stop making excuses and gain up the courage to ask, or even talk to them. Dating has to start with something.
Going back a few years, more like thirty or so years, you look at those who dated. Those in high school, and those in college. Ask your parents or grandparents how they dated when they were in school. It isn't the same as it is today. My dad would tell me of stories of what him and his dates would do, a lot weren't very expensive because he was a typical college student. But he still had time to date girls, not exclusively, but to get to know more people. He would tell me of stories pranking girls' apartments and how much fun they would have. Do we see that today?
I know for a fact that in my past, guys wouldn't ask girls out on dates because hanging out together was enough. They would count that as dates. That is ridiculous! Dating has a different meaning than hanging out does. For dating, there's three P's. Planned, paid for, and paired off. Hanging out, seriously, there's none of that. I see hanging out as an excuse to not ask the opposite gender out. Whether they are too scared or nervous, they don't want to be rejected, they don't want to pay for the other, or be responsible for the activity because nothing sounds fun or good enough to do.
I'm going to jump from dating people to get to know other, to dating someone exclusively. In my class, we talked about the RAM, Relationship Attachment Model. Let me try to explain it and hopefully you'll be able to understand what I'm saying. When we meet someone, we get to know them first. After we get to know them our trust for them builds. The more we can trust them the more we can rely on them. When we rely on someone, we commit ourselves to that person. After we have taken that step of commitment, then comes the touching. If you move these things around in a relationship, then the relationship most likely, will not last. I have no idea if that made sense or not, if it did, props to me! If not, please let me know and I will explain it to you better. But do you understand the importance of how a relationship should go?
I'm going to hit back on the dating a little bit and I'm not picking on just the men. But I will tell you what I have learned from teachers, friends, and roommates within the past few months. And this may not apply to everyone but remember this is a good fraction of people.
Men like women who are confident in themselves, therefore, some men wait for the women to start up a conversation, otherwise, they don't think she is "good enough" for him.
Women like men who are confident with themselves as well. Many women wait for the guy to start a conversation, or to pull the moves. If women do it, does that show that we are too pushy, or needy?
Men and women do not understand each other. That's because women overthink things, men don't think much, nor do they care about things as much as women do. I'm not sure if that's true, I'm not a guy so I don't know. That's just what I've heard in past studies.
If things continue like this, the other waiting for the other to ask, nothing is going to happen. So, I'm going to ask those who are single, myself included, to find a date this week. You ask them out. Don't wait for them, but go out, go on an adventure and find a friend or the person you've been staring at in class for the last few weeks. Stop making excuses and gain up the courage to ask, or even talk to them. Dating has to start with something.
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